you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
