All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's get the cat blown out
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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