I just saw a hot homeless man
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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