who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
