$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
All I want is dick and wine.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
