Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
