are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
