I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize