I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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