what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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