How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
