i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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