Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
