this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
