Yo dont text me then not text me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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