normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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