So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
