it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
