Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am spending my child support on dildos
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
