i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
