Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
