the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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