I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
