dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!