I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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