so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
