So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
