he wants to bone in the snuggie
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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