We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
