i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
