I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Operation Purity has been aborted
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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