I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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