I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
