I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This gyro tastes like lonliness
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
