he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
