i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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