hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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