Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
