Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
