Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"

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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(905): View more from Toronto

No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags

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(347): View more from New York

I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.

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(305): View more from Florida

What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"

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(815): View more from Illinois

I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.

(217): View more from Illinois

But your showmanship is impeccable.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind

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