If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.