Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?

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(360): View more from Washington

he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?

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(916): View more from California

How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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(757): View more from Virginia

shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas

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(504): View more from Louisiana

seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

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(425): View more from Washington

My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.

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(314): View more from Missouri

OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!

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