Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"

  (650): View more from California

  LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me

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  (415): my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous" (650): LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me http://tfl.nu/uk4o
  Replies (3) Good night (2106) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.

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  (484): Totally smoking with fifteen year olds. http://tfl.nu/wzuc
  Replies (14) Good night (1006) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.

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  (814): i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe. (1-814): compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible. http://tfl.nu/koli
  Replies (16) Good night (950) Bad night (3956)
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  (714): View more from California

  she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.

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  (714): she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt. http://tfl.nu/52xp
  Replies (12) Good night (681) Bad night (3005)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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  (631): By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made. http://tfl.nu/sjsx
  Replies (56) Good night (4205) Bad night (618)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.

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  (440): last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired. http://tfl.nu/up5u
  Replies (14) Good night (795) Bad night (3759)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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  (732): obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong. http://tfl.nu/4d0b
  Replies (19) Good night (1023) Bad night (6444)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.

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  (416): The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife. http://tfl.nu/rajf
  Replies (20) Good night (1403) Bad night (4525)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.

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  (919): I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three. http://tfl.nu/4nlq
  Replies (8) Good night (1047) Bad night (2987)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon

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  (416): i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon http://tfl.nu/v68b
  Replies (3) Good night (2283) Bad night (941)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.

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  (250): Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/6hpj
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (2508)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

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  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (625) Bad night (1832)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds

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  (416): Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds http://tfl.nu/xosv
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.

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  (847): Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing. http://tfl.nu/45r1
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (409)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.

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  (586): I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish. http://tfl.nu/znzs
  Replies (5) Good night (456) Bad night (743)

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