My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
smell my finger.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.