I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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