idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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