He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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I need you to use more vowels.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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