Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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