Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
