Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
