If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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