And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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