im about as happy as oj after his trial
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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