I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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