Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
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