Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
