every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
