I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
