his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
