and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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