She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you win again, gameday.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just high enough for therapy.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
