Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
