i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
