carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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