So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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