Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I enjoy the company of your penis
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
