I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
