the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
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I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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